Piracy

Click to make it bigg-ARRRRRR!!

The image above is the cover of a comic book which is due to be released a week from today. The title of this issue is “The Return of Bruce Wayne #3” from which you might be able to glean a few key pieces of information: the #3 does in fact indicate that it is the third chapter of a serialized story (which is scheduled to run 6 issues in total, so this is more or less the middle), while “Return” suggests that Bruce Wayne had gone somewhere and is now coming back, a suggestion indeed borne out by the story. It is in fact the culmination of a story which began in comics published literally years ago, the short version being that it involved Batman (Bruce Wayne’s heroic alter ego) winding up on the losing end (or was it …?) of a showdown with the God of Oppression and thereafter being presumed dead, when in fact he had simply been banished backwards in time. I read that particular story as it came out, but I’m waiting for “The Return of Bruce Wayne” to be completed and collected before I check it out. Still, I know from the internet chatter and the promotion of the issue covers that the story basically follows Bruce Wayne as he reinvents Batman over and over throughout history, starting as a caveman, then as a Puritan witch-hunter, and in this month’s adventure, as a pirate captain as seen above. So yes, in that cover image, the swashbuckler with the gray and black outfit and the mask and the utility bandolier is not just supposed to be a pirate with some resemblance to Batman; it IS Batman. As a pirate. Lost in time.

OK, so clearly there’s two things going through my mind right now:

1. DC Comics needs to release this cover image as a poster. The door to my comic book dork room is just past the end of my pirate bar. This poster would bring the whole basement together in truly Lebowskian fashion.

2. Notice the Jolly Roger flying from the rigging on the right side of the cover. (And yes, I know, flags wouldn’t be flown there on any proper ship, but just go with it.) Observe that it is a skull-and-cutlasses motif … but the skull has bat-ears. DC Comics pretty much needs to manufacture and market life-sized replicas of this flag, as well. NEEDS TO. My disctretionary income is yours for the taking, good sirs.