By the by, all of this parcel-based commerce calls to mind a lot of things I really like about the new house, specifically that it’s a detached single family home and not a townhouse. I grew up in DSFHs but for the past thirteen years or so I’ve lived in nothing but apartments and townhouses. There’s many a nicety that I took for granted as a kid, then got very used to doing without, and now am enjoying re-acquainting myself with. The new house has a storm door, so the FedEx guy can leave flat envelopes between that and the main front door. The front porch is tucked under the second-story overhang, so boxes can sit there reasonably well-sheltered from the rain. Not to mention our cul-de-sac neighborhood is (so far) very friendly and neighborhood-y so the thought of a package sitting on our front porch most of the day strikes me as nothing to worry about. We also have a real mailbox at the end of our driveway, as opposed to a locked slot in a big metal bank down the street. These are all in fact very small things but I am going to go ahead and appreciate them.
Now, forthwith, the expected deliveries:
1. Steaks! Since we moved so perilously close to Christmas, refused to clutter the old house with presents as we were trying to pack, and had neither the time nor energy to shop post-move, most of our family got the nigh-unforgivable gift of gift cards this year. But at least said gift cards were for Omaha Steaks, and that’s good eatin’. Of course, that also means that my e-mail inbox has subsequently been inundated with special offers from Omaha … and eventually I couldn’t resist anymore. “Six sirloin steaks for $19.99” is just another way of saying “God Bless America!” after all. I can further justify this purchase by pointing out that my wife and I are both striving to eat better in the new year, and while sirloin ain’t exactly tofu, having steak readily available to cook at home makes us that much less likely to order pizza. So there’s that.
2. A new netbook. This just makes me laugh a little, because the free netbook was part of the incentive offered by Verizon for hooking up FioS. You may recall that the new house just got its cable and internet mojo rising Monday of this week, so why is it funny that we are now expecting delivery of this thank you gift? Because, you see, this is actually a thank you gift for getting FioS at the old house. Which had to have been at least six months ago. Verizon placed entirely too much of the onus for collecting said gift on us (which, of course, is how corporations make themselves look generous while rarely having to shell out what they advertize). First we had to pay the first two months of FioS bills in full and on time (not too much of a burden, really) and ten we received a certificate with a credit code to be applied toward any HP product. Devious and diabolical! The amount of credit available to us happened to be the exact cost of a baseline netbook, but that mean our options included: (a) aforementioned baseline netbook; (b) a higher-end netbook, for which we would only pay the cost of upgrades; (c) a laptop or desktop, with the price discounted by the amount of credit; (d) you get the idea. So of course we deliberated over the options for a while and seriously considered a whole new desktop-at-a-discount, but then we opted to buy a whole new house instead. And set the credit code coupon (set to expire on Dec. 31) aside. Luckily we did manage to hold onto it even through the move and ultimately we ordered the baseline netbook on Dec. 30. I am inordinately proud of us for successfully claiming this bonus gear to which we were duly entitled. Now we just need to send away for the rebate for the washer and dryer we bought …
3. My DMV PIN. Obviously with a new home comes a new address and a need for new identification reflecting said residential address. I went to the DMV website this week hoping I could request a replacement driver’s license online. But I need a PIN in order to access my account, and I either don’t have one or have forgotten it. When you request a PIN at the DMV website, they send you one … USPS. And in my particular (and you have to think not at all uncommon) case that means they will send the PIN to the address they have on file ... the very one I was trying to change because I don’t live there anymore. Fortunately we got the mail-forwarding set up in a timely fashion, so the PIN will bounce over to me eventually. But good grieving Leroy Jenkins is that a crap way to run an operation.
4. New checks. My online bank account, on the other hand, is something I use all the time and thus was no trouble to log into, change my address for, and request newly printed checks from. I could observe here that my new checks won’t do me a lot of good when people ask to see my I.D. and my driver’s license address and check address don’t match up, but honestly I can’t remember the last time anyone asked to see my I.D. whilst accepting a personal check. I only ever mail checks to people whom I owe money and who won’t take online payments.
5. Used books. Another 2010 resolutions update – I bought some used books through Amazon. Cool things about these particular books: they’ve been on my wishlist for a while, and they cost $.01 each. A penny! It’s like joining the Columbia House Record Club all over again, except I’m not on the hook to buy anything else from this vendor and they won’t be sending me catalogs or forcing me to buy stuff if I don’t send a “nothing to order” postcard back quickly enough. So, nothing like Columbia House, really.
Food, electronics, financial instruments, bureaucratic paperwork, and books. That takes care of the necessities, I reckon.
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