Saturday, September 12, 2009

Son of Saturday Grab Bag

Have I mentioned that my wife and I have a bet going as to whether the offspring will walk or talk first? We totally do. For purposes of the bet, “walking” is defined as “taking three (3) unassisted, hands-free steps in a straight line” and “talking” as “saying a recognizable word with clear intent, as indicated by pointing at (or making eye contact with) the object being named.” The latter definition assumes that the first word will be a noun, but … it usually is, right?

Also, on a related note, we’ve agreed that we should no longer allow ourselves to use words from the saltier end of our vocabularies in front of little Spongebrain. This is easier said than done because oh MAN do we serve up high-sodium discourse in this house. So, the races are on: will he walk first or talk first, and will we phase out the profanity before we get it repeated back to us? Stay tuned!

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Of the five pseudonyms I’ve used for my wife in this blog so far, three of them start with the letter “C”. In real life, my wife’s name does not start with the letter “C”. This is just a weird coincidence. Carry on.

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Major League Baseball team names are really boring. Padres? Cubs? I feel that priests and baby animals are somewhat awesome-deficient. And two different colors of socks??? COME ON. (And yes, I think Yankees is kind of a lame name, too. Along with the Mets and the Phillies, all the local teams of my childhood are basically named after geopolitical attributes - ho-hum.) But just take a step down to the farm systems and now we're talkin': the Bowling Green Hot Rods! the Wisconsin Timber Rattlers! The Tulsa Drillers! And my new personal favorite:

The only way this logo could be improved would be by giving the alien head the body of a monkey holding a beer and an electric keytar.

The Las Vegas 51s! Holy hell, did someone invent this team just for me, combining science-fiction, baseball and Vegas in quite possibly the most awesome logo ever? The Gray has baseball stitches on his highly evolved cranium! I would be so tempted to buy myself a Las Vegas 51s ballcap except ... it's a feeder team for the Toronto Blue Jays, and I just can't give it up for an AL East rival. I have to content myself with my cap for the Trenton Thunder, a Yankees AA team with Thor in their logo - that's pretty cool, too.

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I really need a scanner. So far I’ve managed to include pictures in my posts by saving and uploading stuff I find elsewhere on teh interwebs (the above is from Ballpark Roadtrip), but this seems … I don’t know … vaguely like cheating. Whereas scanning images I own in other media seems less so? This might be one of those things that makes more sense in my head. In any case, it would also be good for when I’m actually talking about something I happen to own but of which no one else seems to have put pictures on the web. For that matter, how do people get screen caps of movies and tv shows online? I must investigate further …

Now if you'll excuse me I have to go distract Spongebrain from trying to string himself up in the vacuum cleaner's power cord.

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