Oral Fixations

First things first: little Wolfram suffered a self-inflicted injury yesterday at daycare. He bit his Tungsten. (Hiyo! Chemistry puns! This is why my Area III major friends hate me.) Nobody saw exactly what happened, but given how often he sticks out his tongue for no apparent reason, and the fact that he’s still not walking full time and tends to sit down as hard and fast as he can in order to start crawling when he wants to change his location, it really isn’t surprising that it happened (though apparently it was pretty shocking for the daycare workers to see him suddenly drooling blood). He’ll be fine, but it did make dinnertime and bedtime-snacktime yesterday a bit difficult as pretty much everything hurt his mouth. Thank goodness for baby yogurt (also, baby Motrin).

While Wolfram slept, Phosphora and I watched Top Chef, which I don’t think I’ve mentioned before but which is a perennial household favorite. If you’ve been following the show at all this season then you probably know that Jen C. and the Voltaggio brothers are among the favorites to win, although the Voltaggio brothers are also fan favorites while no one seems to like Jen. There was some typical manufactured drama in last night’s episode because Jen was freaking out about deconstructing meat lasagna, but it all evaporated as soon as the judges tried her dish and obviously liked it a lot. This led me to speculate that either Jen is neurotically driven to be unreasonably hard on herself OR Jen is smart enough to understand the reality show conventions inside and out – there must be tons of confessional footage that doesn’t get edited into the final cut of each episode, but if Jen looks into the confessional camera and says “I think I may be going home this week” (a phrase that is almost as cliché in reality-tv-land as “I didn’t come here to make friends”) there is almost a 100% chance the editors will use that footage, because it’s ready-made for the kind of pseudo-foreshadowing reality shows need in order to be compelling. It is utterly irrelevant whether or not Jen actually believes she’s going home. That of course begs the question of why Jen – or any contestant – would go on Top Chef in the first place. Is it just the chance to win $125K? Or is it the chance to be on television, which would increase their focus on getting camera-time? (Or, obviously, both in some proportional combination.) The secrets of a reality show contestant chef’s heart are all but unknowable, of course, but that’s where my mind goes.

Meanwhile, the Voltaggio brothers just have a super-cool last name. Phosphora and I agree that it sounds like some kind of awesome vintage robot name. If Nicola Tesla had been a Batman-style crimefighter, his Alfred the Butler would surely have been an automaton named Voltaggio. (That really makes him more of a Tom Strong-style crimefighter but that reference is of course way more obscure and ri-dork-ulous.) At this point I cannot even say “Voltaggio” – it’s “VOLTAGGIO!”. And I can’t even say that without picturing some kind of clockwork marvel with a mechanical mustache.


Incidentally, Mechanical Mustache is the name of my new band.

And speaking of crimefighters, Moxie Crimefighter Jillette’s dad Penn was on Top Chef last night, too. I love Penn and Teller. I wish they had gotten more camera time.

I may post again later today to talk specifically about a book I finished earlier this week, so … you have that to look forward to.