Sunday, October 17, 2010

Scanner Sunday – Catalogs, Part 2

A recurring feature wherein we marvel at the fact that my household is on the mailing lists for what strikes me as a precipitously large number of catalogs. Many of which are totally ridiculous.

Design Toscano is a catalog of "home products" where that phrase is construed to mean "sculptures, statues, wall-hangings, and other objets d'art that would only seem cool if you were 13 but you can only afford to blow the money on if you're 56." I think if I keep this Catalog series going on intermittent Sundays, Toscano will probably give me the most material in the long run. However, I do worry a little bit that by exposing myself to its contents over and over again I may start to actually covet some of the treasures within.

Now some people continue to mock me for starting to talk about Christmas as soon as my October 1 birthday has come and gone, but the Autumn Gift Issue of Toscano came that same week, and featured this bauble on the back cover:

HO-HO-HOLY CRAP
I ... wow. I can't think of anything that says Christmas to me LESS than Bigfoot. "Holiday Yeti" has a certain charm to it, and of course Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer's Rankin-Bass incarnation befriends the Abominable Snowman, but this is so clearly not one of those crypto-hominids, because if it were, it would have white fur. This is clearly a Bigfoot with a lustrous late summer or early fall coat of brown fur, which simply underscores the point: it's too dang soon to be thinking Christmas, even according to Nature (or Super-Nature) Herself.

And yet, he's wearing a large Santa hat festooned with mistletoe and he's carrying Christmas lights, and it's hard to hate on that. See, this is what I'm talking about. I start out scoffing at how abusrdly non-sequitor this stuff is, and then I end up kind of wanting to buy 2 and get the 3rd one free.

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